


A Fistful of Jewels

by Cochrane



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Cool Hats, Explosions, Happy dressed as Vulture, Horses, Not Alternate Universe, Outlaws, Saloon, Western, Wild West, jailbreak, shootout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 21:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cochrane/pseuds/Cochrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alzac and Bisca have gone missing in a small town out in the west. To find them, Team Natsu goes undercover… as the town's new sheriff and deputies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

„You can't just freeze the entire ocean! Gray, please take this seriously. The master has high hopes for this new test. After the last S-class test, I thought you'd appreciate something a bit less… problematic." Gray could see that Erza was getting desperate. They were sitting in the guild on a particularly slow day, and she was asking him stupid question over stupid question.

„I never said the entire ocean. Just deep enough that the enemy ships can't get through. You've seen me at my best; I'm fairly sure I can hold them off long enough."

She thought about this for a bit, before finally conceding his point of view. „Alright, you win. Hm…"

„Good! Does that mean I get to be an S-Class mage earlier?" The questions were stupid, but if it meant beating Natsu, Gray would do just about anything.

„Actually, you weren't meant to win this test. It's supposed to find out how you react in the face of certain defeat. It just does not work. None of you were defeated yet."

„Well, of course. We're Fairy Tail mages; we don't believe in certain defeat. Let me guess: Natsu wanted to punch everyone with fire and motivation, and Lucy wanted to call Aquarius, right?"

Erza looked through the papers in front of her and then nodded. „You're right. Although Natsu kept ignoring my questions about sea-sickness… I think I will tell the master that this test is not suitable."

Gray could agree with that. „Also, it has a stupid name. Who calls a test Kobayashi Maru?"

Suddenly, he noticed a paw poking him. He turned around to see Pantherlily, looking a bit bored.

„Are you looking for Gajeel? I think he's still passed out from all the drinking yesterday."

„I know that" growled the tiny panther. „Actually, I was wondering where Asca was."

„He liiiiikes her!" screamed Happy from the other end of the guild hall. Even Erza had to smile. Alzac's and Bisca's daughter had taken a liking to Lily the first time they met, and he had developed a soft spot for her as well.

„I'm just wondering when they'll be back from their trip. Shouldn't they be here already?"

„Maybe they got delayed?" volunteered Gray. „Bisca hasn't seen her mother in ages, and they did say it might take longer."

Pantherlily nodded, but still looked a bit downtrodden.

Gray looked around at what the others were doing. Over at the bar, Natsu and Lucy were talking about nothing in particular while Mirajane was speaking with the postman.

„Got some that you need to sign for today, Miss Mirajane. How are things?"

„Everything is fine! It is just a bit quiet today." replied the barmaid.

„I don't mean to be rude, but I like quiet when it is your guild. You're all very nice, but your fights are more dangerous than many dogs."

„Yes, it does get a bit wild" said Mirajane while scribbling a highly elaborate signature onto the sheet. „Oh, a priority letter? That is unusual!"

„Probably another dangerous, daring job for you. Don't mind my comments earlier, Miss, I'm still very grateful that you're all here and keep us Magnolians safe!"

„It's our pleasure, Terry!" said Mirajane as the post man left. She opened and read the emergency letter. „Oh my…" Her face fell.

„What is it?" asked Natsu.

„It's from Bisca's mother. Apparently both Bisca and Alzac are missing! She is keeping watch of Asca now, but she sounds really scared."

„Don't worry, we'll find them!" said Natsu even before Mirajane had the chance to elaborate on any details. All the other members of the guild shared his look of determination.

„Careful, though." said Gray while walking over to them. „I've been to the west before. The people there don't trust stragners who just come into their town. Makes it very hard to get anything done."

Erza looked at the request board. „I may have an idea for that. They are in Copperton, right?" She took down a letter and handed it to them. „It seems as if that town is currently looking for…"

Natsu took the request and cut her off before she could even finish. „Yeah! We're going to be sheriffs!"


	2. Go West

In the end, it was just the usual team: Natsu, Happy, Erza, Gray, and of course Lucy. Happy was already a stretch, as the mission had only asked for one sheriff and three deputies. Pantherlily had considered coming, but decided against it when the weather report mentioned a possibility of thunderstorms in the area over the week the contract was supposed to run.

Natsu later insisted that this was the worst train ride ever, but he always did that. Lucy would have really liked it, if it weren't for the conductor who kept going on about the time in this fair land when the railroad did not run, and how the heroic men and women had built it. It was getting on everyone's nerves, except Natsu, who did not hear it anyway, and Erza, who seemed very interested in the entire story.

Sick and tired of all the history, Lucy was glad when they finally reached Maschen, the last station and the first town in the wild west. As they all left the station, they were greeted by a scenario that could not have been more different from Magnolia. There were a few cars, but most of the people were riding on horses. Everyone was wearing cowboy hats.

„All right, so from here we walk, right?" said Natsu. „I'm all fired up!"

„Don't be ridiculous," said Erza. „We are going to buy horses."

„I hoped you had forgotten about that" said the fire mage weakly.

„Why does Erza get to be the sheriff?" asked Happy again. „I still think we should vote! I think I can be more than a deputy."

„We did vote!" said Lucy exasperatedly. „You were the only one who voted for you. Everyone else voted Erza."

„Before anything else, we need to do something about the heat" said Gray. Lucy agreed. „I think I have an idea."

An hour later, they were riding across the trail towards to Copperton, wearning new cowboy hats. It had taken them a while to find one that matched Happy, but apparently he was not the first Exceed in these parts.

To everyone's surprise, Natsu had no problem riding on a horse. His horse was long and lean, with green eyes and a light yellowish color. Within seconds of seeing it, he had decided that it was a friend, not a vehicle, and thus there was no reason to get sick.

Lucy, on the other hand, was feeling horrible. Why did they have to leave Wendy behind? Lucy's mare had been described as the nicest animal west of Mount Hakobe, but to her, it made no difference.

„I can knock you out", offered Erza seriously, and Lucy found to her surprise that she was actually considering taking it. What was worst, however, was not the travel sickness, but the fact that Natsu kept sniggering the entire time. There was no reason to be glad that it had hit someone else! It took them almost the entire afternoon until they finally reached the outskirts of Copperton.

The town was mostly deserted, and the few people sitting on the porches of their houses were eyeing the newcomers with suspicion. News of their arrival seemed to spread quickly as more and more faces appeared behind the windows. From the saloon, three men appeared. One of them looked about fifty and was wearing an old suit, together with the ubiquitous cowboy hat and boots with spurs. He was clearly the boss of the group.

„You the new sheriffs?" he asked after seeing their Fairy Tail signs.

„Yes. I am Erza Scarlett of Fairy Tail. This is…"

„Whatever. I'm Alexander MacEwing. I run the biggest ranch around here. Now, I like to get along with the town's sheriff. I hope you want to get along, too."

This was not a civil offer of cooperation, Lucy thought. Erza just nodded quickly. „We'll uphold the law. If you follow the law, then we will have no problems."

„Just don't cause a ruckus. It's not worth it." He spat out. „We don't need another hero 'round here."

He turned around to leave. Erza was boiling with rage and was clearly near the end of her self-restraint. Gray rode up to her and held her arm.

„Careful. We don't want to upset him before we have to. Maybe he can help us."

„Did you hear him? He asks us not to cause trouble, as if the law was just there to inconvenience him. I can't let that slide."

„Then don't. But right now, our focus is getting Alzac and Bisca home safely."

She nodded.

The mayor of the town was not too interested in the ritual of handing over the stars to his new sheriffs. Instead, he reminded them in no uncertain terms not to get in MacEwing's way.

„You've got your heart at the right place, and I respect that" he said as Erza explained in detail how this was not acceptable. „Let me put it like this. You wonder why we need a new sheriff?"

„The job description said that the last one left without giving notice."

„Aye, he did. But right before that, he was starting to investigate into MacEwing's business. Then MacEwing comes to his house, ‚just for a nice chat' he says. Next thing you know, the poor guy is packing up his belongings and his family and is getting out of here as fast as his wagon would move. Now, he was smart. Not smart enough to know what not to do, but smart enough to leave when it was time. Y'all don't look that kind of smart. Ya see, I don't want to be looking for another sheriff before your stint here is officially over."

None of the Fairy Tailies were too happy about this, but Erza kept calm.

„Is there anything you can tell us about Bisca and Alzac Connell?"

„Did you even listen? You do not want to get mixed up in that business!"

„So MacEwing was involved in this, is that what you're saying?"

„I'm thinking I'm not saying anything anymore. Just don't come crying to me if things go south."

The Sheriff's Mansion was clearly named ironically thought Gray. Natsu kept insisting that the jail actually had the best bed, and the ice mage found himself agreeing with him. The entire house had an office, a tiny cell, a kitchen and a few bedrooms for the sheriff and the deputies. Nobody had bothered to clean before their predecessor had fled; whether he had ever cleaned the place was hard to say as well.

The next day started with coffee that Natsu had roasted with his own fire in an old metal can. He insisted that this was how things were done around here. Of course, it tasted horrible.

After breakfast, Erza and Lucy set out to visit Bisca's parents at their farm, about an hour's ride away. This meant the boys were left to do a tour of the town.

Copperton was not big by any means. There was the main road and a few side roads. All the houses were essentially wooden shacks, with porches that formed sort of a sidewalk, and bars to tie horses to in front. Apart from the sheriff's office and a small city hall, it also had an undertaker, a bank with telegraph office as well as a few stables and other businesses. Natsu was particularly interested in the particular etablissement that promised „hot action" with „fiery girls", but Gray quickly dragged him away. He did not want to find out what Erza would do if she found out they had gone there. Besides, he was fairly sure that Natsu had no idea what the place was about anyway. A few minutes later, the dragon slayer proved him right as he wondered aloud why the girls were needed.

Finally, they entered the saloon. It was dimly lit, and even though it was still early, lots of shady figures were sitting around the tables, drinking dark whiskey and growling at each other. An automatic piano was playing a squeaky tune; if there was an actual pianist, he would probably not be here until some time later.

„Bartender! I want something that you can set on fire!" shouted Natsu enthusiastically. The other customers were looking on them with disgust, but of course the flame brain did not notice. In the back, some started to whisper amongst themselves.

The bartender took a good long look at Natsu, then filled him a glass. Gray knew the drill; the bartender would give the rooky the strongest, cheapest stuff in the house just to humiliate him. The age-old plan went anwry when Natsu did actually set his drink on fire and then poured it down.

„What, are you some kind of monster?" he shrieked.

„I'm not a monster. I'm the new deputy!" said Natsu happily. „And I like this blue fire. Makes me feel good!" Now some of the people around them were starting to get up, and they did not look as if they wanted to pat on Natsu's back.

„Natsu, you're embarassing us!" said Gray. „Of course, that was to be expected."

„Oy, what's that supposed to mean?" shouted the fire mage.

Behind them, someone started to talk. The man was tall, wearing a long, black coat. „My, my, we got new deputies. You've not been here long, so I'll give you a hint, just this once. Leave this sal…"

„Hey, I'm talking here!" spat Natsu. „I've got to teach this icy idiot a lesson."

„Actually we are going to teach you both a lesson…" said the coated man, but both ignored him. Icy idiot? Yeah, right. „You teach me a lesson? I'd love to see you try!"

„Oh really? I'm all fired up now!"

„Bring it on!"

„Excuse me? Trying to get you out of the bar here…"

„Shut up!" shouted both. With that, the fight began.

The farmhouse was small, but the Mulans were keeping it in immaculate shape. Lucy and Erza had been ushered to the sofa and were now sitting in front of the two friendly old farmers that were Bisca's parents. Asca was sitting on Lucy's lap, happy to see her ‚Aunt Luce' and ‚Aunt 'za' again.

They were eating amounts of cake that Lucy had never seen outside a bakery before. Thankfully, Erza was taking care of almost all of it. Lucy did not want to have her stomach full before the ride back home.

„…and that was their wedding day. Luca cried like a little baby" said Bisera Mulan as she was handing them a picture. Her husband smiled. „I'm not gonna apologize. It had taken those two so long to get together…"

„Oh yes. I swear, the first time they came to visit us, I was so happy that she had finally found such a nice young man. It wasn't until afterwards that I found out that they weren't together at all."

Lucy nodded. „For the first few weeks when I was at Fairy Tail, I thought they were a couple, too. It was so obvious!"

„I know, right?" said Luca. „But that's our Bisca. Always brash and unafraid, except when it comes to love. Figures she should find a man just like her. She really is hard on the old ticker." He laughed.

„Seriously, you two" said Bisera. „If you ever become mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowgirls. I'm happy for the family she found, but she gave us quite a few frights in her time."

That raised some difficult questions. Did Lucy actually want to have children? She had never given it much thought, but maybe she should… Did Natsu want children? Wait, why was she wondering about him right now?

She looked to Erza, but the knight was no help. Where she previously was just engrossed in the cake, she now seemed to be hiding behind it. Right, time to change the subject.

„You sent us the letter, so we were wondering if you know anything more about… well…" She looked down at the little girl, wondering how much she could say about the dangers her parents might be in.

„Of course. Asca, dear, come here…" Mrs. Mulan led her out of the room.

„Alright, you've heard of Alexander MacEwing?" asked Luca. „Ah, I take it you've run into him, Miss Scarlett? Your face looks just like your hair color."

Erza swallowed hurriedly, then almost spat out. „He basically asked us to turn a blind eye towards whatever he's doing, as if the sheriff worked for him."

„Yes, that does sound like him. He owns the biggest ranch around here, and he wants to buy our land so he can expand it. But it's our home, and that son of a bitch, pardon my french, offers not even half of what it's worth. Still, with all his barely-veiled threats… we thought about moving, but Bisca wasn't having any of it."

Bisera returned. „You know her; always feels the need to protect those she loves. Well, she and Alzac went to talk to MacEwing. They came back, had no success, but she said there was something she needed to check out at the old mine. So she went there one night. The next day, she still wasn't back, so Alzac went out to find her. And now it's been two days since we last heard from him. That's why we sent for you."

Her husband nodded. „We don't have a sheriff to turn to, and our own magical ability, it's just not as good as it once was. Also, someone needs to take care of Asca."

Erza nodded. „Don't worry, we'll find them. Now, you mentioned something about an old mine…"

When Lucy and Erza finally returned, they were packing a lot of left-over cake. It was not quite clear how, but Mrs. Mulan had been able to bake more than even Erza could eat.

As they approached the town, they heard strange shouts and screams. On closer look, it appeared as if there was a riot. No, not a riot; a celebration. But celebrating what? And then they saw it.

Natsu and Gray were being carried on hands through the town, while Happy was flying ahead. Gray still looked a bit confused, but Natsu was grinning. He waved at them as he saw them. Also, for some reason, Gray was wearing only boxer shorts, his cowboy hat and his deputy star. Lucy was not sure if she wanted to know how it staid attached to his chest. Of course, Erza was having none of it.

„Deputies Dragneel and Fullbuster, get down here this instant!" she shouted in a voice that could (and in fact did) make any Fairy Tail mage cower in fear. Natsu and Gray were no exceptions. They quickly got down and looked at the ground, as if it held any clue for an ongoing investigation.

„What is going on here?" she demanded to know.

„Well, we were fi…" started Gray, but Natsu interrupted him. „Sparring! Sparring, that's what we were doing. In the Saloon. And then, we found these other guys who looked suspicious…"

„They drove away Hank Gallimer and his men!" shouted the bartender. „These guys have been harassing us for ages, but nobody ever had the balls to just throw them out."

„I'm impressed, Sheriff Scarlett" said one of the town folk. „If that is what your deputies can do, then I'm looking forward to seeing the sheriff herself in action!"

Many voices joined in agreement. The five of them could barely make it through the crowd as everyone wanted to shake their hands. „Sparring in the saloon, right?" whispered Lucy. „You two were just fighting and accidentally dragged the bad guys into it."

„No, no, it was… yeah, you're right. But don't tell Erza." said Natsu.

„Why shouldn't I tell Erza? She will be able to see through it right away." In reply, Natsu tilted his head towards Erza's general direction. She was currently talking to the saloon's owner.

„So, can anyone come into your saloon to spar, or do I have to have a reservation?" she asked. Lucy silently shook her head.

Suddenly, the sound of horses broke the silence. MacEwing had returned, together with ten of his men and women. On one of the horses lay a huge bundle.

„Miss Scarlett! There's something I've been wanting to hand over to the sheriff, but we didn't have one. Now the people keep telling good stories about your team and you, so I'm sure y'all will like this."

One of his men dragged the bundle from the horse and threw it on the ground before them. Were there noises coming from it?

„The man in here broke into my home, tried to murder me, and when he failed, he tried to steal a horse of mine. I demand you hang him immediately."

Erza pulled the figure out of the bundle. The man was so beaten and bruised that it took them a second to realize who they had before them. When they did, they let out a collective gasp. It was Alzac Connell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the first real chapter! After my previous story suffered from a horrible lack of focus, I'm hoping to create something smaller but clearer here. And also something fun, of course. I hope you like it!
> 
> Is there already an established english name for the daughter of Alzac and Bisca? I decided to go with Asca, because it made a lot of sense considering the context, but in various fan translations I've read just about every possible variation of the spelling.
> 
> Finally, as always, I'd really love to see your opinions!


	3. Yippie Yi Ay

Thankfully, Natsu had the presence of mind to whisper. „It's Alzac!" he said quietly. „We cannot arrest him."

Erza shook her head almost imperceptibly and considered her options. The town people were looking at them all, wondering what would happen next. According to Bisca's parents, MacEwing had few friends, but he did command a certain grudging respect around here. All of them would band together against outsiders, especially if they came to break in, murder or steal horses.

There was also the matter that she was a sheriff and had sworn an oath to uphold the law. Yes, it was just temporary, but she had meant it. The law was above her and above her friendship, wasn't it? And if Alzac was innocent, which she believed, he had nothing to fear, right?

She made a show of picking up his wallet that MacEwing had dropped on the ground. All cash was gone, of course, but it did contain his ID card, so she had a reason for knowing his name.

„Alzac Connell, you are under arrest for horse theft, trespassing and attempted murder…"

* * *

Copperton must have had experience with wizard outlaws. Why else would the jail have handcuffs that neutralized magic? Not that Alzac was actually considering breaking out, of course, but he still did not like being limited like that.

„So where were you three nights ago?" asked Erza, sitting just outside the jail cell. Next to her was a pile of paper on which she kept scribbling. She was treating this like a real interrogation. The rest of her team were assembled around her and clearly just as confused as he was. „Remember, you do have a right not to say anything.", she continued.

„Erza, stop it!" Alzac said. „We've known each other for a long time now. I'll tell you all you need to know, but this interrogation, right now, this is exactly what MacEwing wants you to do!"

„Either answer the question or user your right to remain silent!" snapped the knight, which made all of them flinch. Even her.

„I can understand why you had to arrest him." said Happy. „But now you are going too far."

Erza sighed. „I'm sorry, Alzac, but it's the law, and I am the sheriff. I do not want to hurt my friends, but it is necessary to uphold order. I cannot just throw that out the window." She pointed at a big book that she had brought with her. Its title was „Rules and Regulations for the Office of Sheriff of Copperton", and from the looks of it, she was the first one top open it in a long time.

„That did not stop you from helping Jel…" Alzac broke off because Natsu was shaking his head so hard that it almost came off. For a tiny moment, he could see a terrifying glint of anger in her eyes, but she calmed down again.

„You're right. I am silly. Please hit me."

Alzac shook his head. Even if he did manage to hit her with handcuffs and through the jail cell bars, he did not expect anything good to come from it. She continued.

„I know that MacEwing made up all these allegations. But I also think that you broke into his house, without legal authority or an active guild contract, to look for Bisca."

She looked him directly in the eye, as if to see whether she was right. She was right, of course. „If you tell me, then I will have to write it down and tell it to the court that decides over you, and you will be punished. But if you do not tell me what you know, then we don't know where to look."

„Can't he just tell us and you don't write it down?" asked Happy.

„No!" said Erza sharply. She pointed at her star. „We swore an oath. That includes you, Happy. We cannot simply ignore it."

Then she looked at Alzac again. „What is your decision?"

He did not even have to think about his reply. „As long as Asca and Bisca stay safe, I will accept any punishment. Just let me help you find them."

„Are you sure?", asked Erza. „I will have to keep you locked up until this is over, for your own safety, and even after that, your fate will be up to the court. Can you promise that you are okay with that?"

„I swear!" He looked out the window. „I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky and whatever you want. I just want to do my part for them. If you won't let me out, then let me help you."

She nodded. „Please start at the beginning."

It did not take long to tell what he knew. His first thought had been to go to the mine, of course, but that's what Bisca did, and she was now imprisoned or… no, she was imprisoned. Nothing else. He needed more information first, so he had gone to MacEwing's farm. There was not a lot in this town that MacEwing did not know about, even if he wasn't involved.

Alzac also had the advantage that few people in the town knew him; during their visits to his in-laws, they had mostly stayed at their farm. Getting hired as a new cowboy had been easy. Few of MacEwing's workers ever bothered to stay long. Entering his office in the middle of the night was just as easy… or so it seemed, until they caught him.

At that point, Erza interrupted him. „That isn't really any help at all. Together with MacEwing's statement, that is just enough rope to hang you with – possibly literally. I guess that is why he gave you to us, instead of killing you himself."

„Right, but MacEwing thought that I had not seen anything interesting. That is not really true, though…"

He searched in the folds of his poncho until he finally found the tiny pocket that he had sewn into it years ago. From it, he took two pieces of paper.

„These are letters I took from his desk. He won't ever know they're missing. This one proves that he is working with Hank Gallimer and his band of outlaws. You heard of him?"

„Natsu and Gray threw him out of the Saloon, but _somehow_ failed to arrest him."

„We didn't even know he was gone until our fi…" started Natsu, but Gray quickly clasped his hand over the dragon slayer's mouth. Alzac looked impressed.

„His men have been terrorizing the area for years. Bisca and I always wanted to do something about him, but her parents wouldn't let us, said it was too dangerous. Anyway, the other part is: MacEwing is looking for Whiskey Jack's Bottle."

All of them stared at him as if they had never heard of the mythical device. Which was probably true, come to think of it. „Oh, right, you don't know…"

„No, hang on, I read a book about that once!" said Lucy. „Whiskey Jack was the nickname of a sorcerer who loved to play tricks on others. Some also called him a teacher. In his spare time, he built a lot of weird but powerful magical devices, many of which are lost now. I think he died when some kid shot him, just to watch him die."

„You're right", said Alzac. „Whiskey Jack is something of a folk hero around these parts. There are lots of stories about his bottle, that he could always make a river of whiskey come pour from it when he wanted to and such. It seems that MacEwing has found some evidence that it ended up somewhere in the area."

„What could he do with the bottle if he had it?" asked Gray while Erza was looking through the letters. She answered.

„It seems that he wants to use it to control the river here. There is a river here?"

Alzac nodded. „It goes right through the Moulin's farm. If he manages to divert it, they will have to pack up and leave within the month, and they will only be the first. By the end of the year, he would own all of the land around."

* * *

Natsu was confused. Should they confront MacEwing? Should they try to find out where Gallimer went? Should they go to the mine? In fact, it was likely that Gallimer was either with MacEwing or at the mine, so they could catch two with one stone. All others were asking the same questions, so to answer them, they went to the saloon.

Even though nothing major had changed, it had become a much nicer place since they had their fight. Yes, some things were still damaged from the fight, but before, there were few people, all gloomy. Now, emboldened, the normal inhabitants of the town had decided to take back their saloon, and the atmosphere was a lot happier. They cheered as the group entered. For a second, Natsu felt bad that Gray had been left behind to guard Alzac; it was partly his effort, too, that got them this reaction. On the other hand, he was a stupid ice brain, so who cared?

Erza and Lucy in particular got very enthusiastic responses from some of the rougher men at the bar. Was it really a good idea to save a horse by riding a cowboy? It sounded awkward. Although from the glares that Erza was giving off, Natsu believed that he was maybe not getting something.

The knight did not waste any time and simply shouted, „Can anyone tell me more about Hank Gallimer?"

A chorus of voices replied.

„…drinks whiskey, expects never to pay!" „…killed that one hobo, I just know it, but nobody could ever prove it!" „…stole my sweetroll!" „…robbed the banks in three other towns, we were just waiting for him to strike here…" and so on. Natsu was starting to feel really good about having beaten him up, no matter how much it was an accident. Erza, meanwhile, had trouble calming them down.

„We just need to know where we can find him. Do any of you know?" The people started whispering, nodding their heads, discussing options and slowly came to the consensus that they should probably ask an old fellow who was sitting at a table in the corner by himself.

„Name's Oakhorn", he greeted them as they sat down. „So you be wantin' to hear 'bout Hank Gallimer, right? How'd I know I can trust y'all?"

Without saying anything, Erza handed him a beer. Wait, did she have that the whole time? Oakhorn nodded.

„That is good stuff. I guess. It's booze, and that's all I ever asked for in live. Now, what is it you want me to tell you?"

„I've been hearing a rumor that Hank Gallimer has a connection to Alexander MacEwing. Do you know anything about that?"

He thought for a bit, something that took him a lot of effort. And booze, apparently.

„Now that you mention it, I guess it makes sense. I have no proof, of course, but I can just picture it. After all, he hangs out in old MacEwing's mine."

„You mean the old copper mine? It is owned by MacEwing?"

„Oh yessir. He don't like to remind no people of it, 'cause it was a huge failure, but it's his alright. Me, I've been working there for years, until it closed. But I still like to go and check, ya see? If all the beams still hold, none of the tunnels don't collapse, see the water level… Well, soon things get strange. Howling in the night, noises, so I says to myself, visit only at day. So I go there during the day, and then suddenly a tunnel is closed. Someone put a damn door where there didn't need to be no door."

He took another swing from his glass.

„But, see, the mine isn't properly mapped, 'cause that would have cost old MacEwing too much, so ain't nobody who knows what shaft and what drift goes where. Well, except old Oakhorn. So I take me a slight detour and I hear hammerin', as if someone is digging still. I look around and who do I see but Hank Gallimer himself? Luckily, he ain't seen me, so I walk out there fast as I can."

„What could he be looking for?", said Lucy.

„I don't know", replied Oakhorn. „But the funny thing is this: You know why the mine was closed down?"

„Of course not, we just arrived here!" shouted Natsu, getting a bit fed up with the story.

„Right, and see, _nobody_ knows. It's been a nice mine, we had plenty of good ore. Copper, lead, zinc, even a bit of silver… them science guys from the university kept talkin' bout them sediments and stuff. I don't understand it, but it was a good mine. And then one day, MacEwing tells us all to dig in another direction. Only, the ore is basically one big pillow that we're digging through, and there is none in the other direction. So of course we find nothing and then we get shut down. But, see, why did he tell us to dig elsewhere? That's the thing nobody gets. Ever since then, the town has had nothing but farming and his ranch to get by."

Erza nodded after the long-winded explanation. „So basically, we should investigate the mine."

„What? No, I never said that!" exclaimed Oakhorn. „Things have gotten worse since I was last there. Strange whispers, noises. A kid who went there never came back… although, to be honest, maybe he was just running off to be with his girl, but that's something else entirely. Either way, the mine holds something dark. You do not want to mess with it. And definitely not today."

He looked out the window, where the sun had set. „You see that? There is a bad moon on the rise."

The people around him nodded. „They say there's demons around there" volunteered one. „I think it was evil spirits" said a second. „Whatever it is, it sure is scary" came yet another reply.

„We don't care! We are Fairy Tail mages, and we have defeated all sorts of demons and bad moons!" shouted Natsu. „I'm all fired up now!"

* * *

In the grand history of Unison Raids, this would probably not take the top spot. Even a footnote would have been a stretch, and does it really count as a Unison Raid at all if two mages do two separate things that happen to work together? Still, Gray had to admit that the plan actually worked: Natsu's fire and his own Ice Lense were producing a steady beam to light the path.

It had been Erza's idea. She had wanted to ride out as soon as possible in order to surprise Gallimer. It was always possible that one of the saloon's patrons was actually a spy. Lucy had volunteered to stay behind and guard Alzac. She said it was because she wanted to do some paperwork, but everyone knew better. Swapping their horses had not changed her travel sickness one bit, something that Natsu still found hilarious. Gray agreed, although he would never openly admit it.

They made very good time over the rocky desert terrain. After a while they decided to pause, feed their horses and drink a bit of coffee to stay awake through the night. Natsu's coffee was one of the most horrible things Gray had ever tasted, but it did keep the sleep away. A small scorpion drank some that had landed on the ground, and immediately keeled over and died.

After a while, Natsu turned out the light and they sat for a moment, simply enjoying the stars they could see from their place on the ridge. Gray knew that Lucy would have liked it. None of them knew anything about constellations before they had met her. It was a bit weird to see Leo, though. Was that spying on a fellow guild-mate or not?

Suddenly Natsu pointed at the sky. „Do you see that, too?"

They did. Red dots started appearing in pairs. At first, Gray thought it were weird stars that he hadn't noticed before, but they soon grew larger. Before too long, they could see the outlines of a herd of cows with shiny, black horns and hoofs that sounded as if they were made of steel. As they were approaching, Happy cried out, „Look! Ghosts!"

The herd was followed by skeleton cowboys on skeleton horses, riding closely behind them through the sky. They spotted the Fairy Tail mages and began to shout, incredibly clear over the still huge distance.

„Do not go this way!" „Repent!" „Change!" „If you follow this path, you, too, will ride with us forever!"

Natsu had a questioning look on his face while Happy was positively scared. Gray himself felt uneasy. Fairy Tail was good at defeating humans, but ghosts?

Erza pulled them out of their thoughts. „Just ignore them, they are nothing but illusions!", she shouted. Of course. Porlyusica had done an amazing job, so most of the time Gray forgot that Erza had an artificial eye, but it was really coming in handy at times like this. As she said it, the specters were already starting to dissolve.

„I think they do not want us to go to the mine", said Happy. „So there is something interesting there. Maybe a huge fish!"

„We're not looking for fish! We're looking for Bisca!" snapped Natsu. The blue Exceed looked at him and replied, „Right now, I need fish more."

„It's pointless", said Erza. „Now they know we are coming. If we attack then they have the advantage. We need to ride back to Copperton and rethink our approach. I just hope that if they do have Bisca, they don't move or hurt her in the meantime… Natsu!"

With astonishing speed, the fire mage had gotten back on his steed and rode away, yelling „I'm all fired up now!"

Erza and Gray looked at each other for a moment, then started after him.

* * *

Natsu wanted to keep this horse forever. It travelled fast, but without motion sickness, and it kept going for a lot longer than Happy. The only question was: Would the Exceed allow it? He did not want his best friend to feel left out. Also, where would he get all the necessary hay from?

Slowly, Happy caught up with him and started shouting. „Natsu, you have to stop! Erza is really angry at you!"

„No, I have to find Bisca and kick the asses of all of these outlaws. Don't worry, it will be fine!"

„But you don't know what you will find there! What if there are…" The blue cat gasped. „Mine carts!"

„Then I'll run along the tracks!" said Natsu. More solemnly, he added, „Imagine Asca's look if we told her that mommy is not coming home. I don't want that. We are all friends, and we look out for each other!"

Happy was clearly trying to imagine it, and started to tear up. „No, Asca, don't cry!", he shouted. Then he looked at Natsu and said, „Aye, sir!"

„Let's go get them!", replied Natsu.

They continued, him riding, Happy flying, until they reached the mine. Gray and Erza were close behind, but unless they'd attack him, they had no chance of stopping him. He jumped off his horse and ran into the entrance. Three defenders were waiting for him, but he just fire-punched the middle one so hard that all three fell over. This made perfect sense to him at the time, although he would never be able to explain how exactly he did that.

The mine was mostly dark, lit only by occasional lanterns, and the layout was not too obvious, but Natsu simply followed his nose through the narrow passages. Keep left here, take the low road there… Very quickly, he came into a larger cave from which lots of other corridors left. In the cave were ten or twenty outlaws, sitting around an old, ugly table. Some of them looked familiar. They had been among the people that had fled the saloon when Natsu and Gray had really started fighting.

Finding Hank Gallimer was not too difficult; he was sitting in a much larger chair, almost like a throne. But Natsu's eyes were drawn to the green-haired woman who was chained up next to him.

„Bisca!", he shouted. She had magic handcuffs on her wrists, and a piece of cloth over her mouth gagged her. Still, she started to look more hopeful as she saw him. Erza and Gray appeared next to him, having accepted the inevitable.

You had to hand it to the outlaws; they were brave. It just didn't help. A team of Natsu, Gray and Erza (and Happy) was essentially unstoppable. After just a few blows, the outlaws were retreating, taking their unconscious friends with them. Gallimer jumped up and dragged Bisca away through one of the shafts. Natsu was about to start after him, when the bandit chief did something completely unexpected: He turned around to smile and wave at Natsu.

„Natsu, stop!" shouted Erza. „Look at the ceiling!"

He did, and he saw it. Lots of tiny sticks with ropes coming out of them. And lots of tiny flames that were slowly working their ways along the ropes. He knew what it was, but Erza said it anyway. „It's T.N.T.! It is dynamite!"

„Those are not the same things", remarked Gray quietly.

„We have to get out of here!" shouted Erza. Happy agreed with a loud „Aye, sir!" The others started to run away, but Natsu staid behind. Those outlaws were not going to blow themselves up. If he could just…

Suddenly, a big stone fell down and blocked the corridor. It had probably been rigged to go off first, precisely to prevent what Natsu was trying to do. No matter. Fire applied correctly was good at breaking rocks. What had Igneel told him? Heat it up, then let it cool down, and repeat several times…

But then he felt someone drag him. Someone with tiny, soft hands. Like, really soft. Happy was shouting „We have to get out of here!"

Natsu did not want to, but he had to agree with the Exceed. The first sticks of dynamite were about to go off…

He ran, while Happy was flying in front. Erza and Gray were maybe a hundred steps ahead of them. Suddenly, he heard a loud boom. The first explosion had begun. Then a second boom. Then a third. He focused on running instead of taking count, but he did notice that their entrance corridor was similarly rigged to explode. Why hadn't he seen that while running in? Because he was too focused on being the big hero, instead of thinking, of course. He could slap himself. The explosions were getting closer, even though he ran as fast as he could. He started feeling the pressure wave now.

„Happy, you go ahead! I'll be right behind!" shouted Natsu. He wasn't entirely sure if that would be true. Now, more and more rocks started falling and hitting him on the head, but he almost didn't feel it. „A good thing we did not bring Lucy", he thought. „That way I don't have to worry about her…"

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a shipping story, but I do like to tease at times. Whiskey Jack was taken from Algonquian mythology, but the idea came, of course, from American Gods. Without a doubt the best book where nothing ever happens. The name „Copperton" is derived from Silverton, of Durango & Silverton fame, although it turns out that there are actually two Coppertons in the world: One in Utah, one in South Africa. Copperton sounds cheaper than Silverton, but a good copper deposit can make a town richer than a small silver one – and besides, the two often do appear together.


	4. Streets of Copperton

"He's awake!" shouted someone. It sounded like a girl. Charle? No, Erza, come to think of it. Why was she shouting? Who was awake?

Slowly, Natsu opened his eyes. So apparently he was in some sort of cave, near the exit. The sun was just starting to rise. Around him were rocks. What had happened here? Oh, right…

Gray came running towards him. So where was Erza? He turned his head and saw her in full armor, holding up… a rock. A rock that he had been under, apparently. Also Happy was flying around with tears in his eyes.

"Can you walk?" shouted Gray. It was a good question. Natsu moved his legs, which seemed to work without any complaints. "Come out of there, you idiot, before it all collapses again."

Natsu got to his feet and moved away. The second he was out of the way, Erza let her rock drop. She was covered in sweat. To their sides were huge piles of other rocks, held in place by walls made of ice. Was he buried that deep? How much rubble did his friends have to go through to get him out?

They wasted no time in leaving the mine and took a moment to catch their breaths right outside.

"Thank y–", Natsu tried to say, but right then Erza punched him in the gut.

"Idiot! We all told you to wait! Now look at what you did. We have no way of getting into the mine, we don't know where Bisca is…"

"Asca is going to cry!" said Happy, already in tears himself. "And we were all so worried about you!"

That realization hit him harder than Erza ever could. He had set out to rescue a friend, and now she was further from rescue than before. And not because he did not hit hard enough or did not have enough motivation, but simply because he ignored a direct order from Erza and all common sense.

"I… I'm sorry", he said meekly.

* * *

They searched a while for an alternative entrance, but there was none nearby. Even if there had been, chances were good that it was booby trapped just the same, and they could not risk it. Nobody said much on the ride back to Copperton. They were all lost in their thoughts.

When they returned, they were greeted by a scene of destruction. The Sheriff's Office was lacking half its walls, and what was still standing was at least burned. A few parts were still smoking.

Lucy and Alzac were sitting outside, drinking beers from longneck bottles. Plue was with them, so clearly the danger was already over, but still, Natsu's mind went almost blank with horror.

"Lucy, what happened here? Are you alright?" he shouted as he dismounted his horse. He ran up to her and started sniffing for burn wounds. Apparently, Lucy did not appreciate that.

"Natsu, stop it! We're fine, don't worry. Well, except for my behind. Aquarius was not happy about being summoned in a water bucket…"

Natsu flinched at the thought. There was not much he was afraid of, but the water spirit was someone he preferred to see from a safe distance, if at all.

"We were attacked" said Alzac, "but Lucy drove him off!"

"Attacked by whom?" asked Erza. "And how did everything burn down?"

"No idea, he was dressed from top to bottom in black," said Lucy. "He was trying to get to Alzac without me noticing, but Plue noticed him. I was able to drive him away."

"It was awesome!" said Alzac. "She called that one guy that always talks about prawns, but then…"

Lucy started to blush as Alzac described the fight, full of praise for her. It was really cute. She always described herself as the most amazing mage ever, but when one talked about the impressive things she really had done, she always tried her very best to find a way to make it sound less impressive.

"…and when the guy saw Aries, he was so scared that he simply ran away!" finished Alzac. "And then the flames started. I guess that was his plan B to get us out of the way. The doors were all locked, and I could not find my guns to shoot them open, but Lucy called that cow with the fire axe…"

"It's not a fire axe!"

"It works like one, though. And that's how we got out here. And it was really close!"

"I'm sorry, Lucy" said Natsu, which made everyone stare at him in surprise.

"Wait… were you the man in black? I don't think so, so what do you have to be sorry about?"

"Because I couldn't protect you… any of you… because I was too stupid…" He told her what they had done and how it had backfired horribly due to his stupidity. It was particularly painful to watch Alzac's face as he heard how they had seen Bisca, but could not rescue her.

Finally, he finished, and sat there, waiting for some sort of verdict. After what seemed like an eternity, his best human friend spoke.

"Natsu, I'm disappointed in you."

"I know. I'm sorry that I failed…"

"Let me finish!" Natsu fell silent. Lucy could be very, very scary.

"I am disappointed about how you sit here, all depressed. That's not the Natsu I know. You made a mistake. That happens. Now don't repeat it. Go out, make a real plan, and then fix it!"

That was not quite the verbal beating he had been expecting. He smiled and pulled Lucy into a hug.

"You're right, Lucy! I'm all fired up now!"

"I know, let me go! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"Ahem" said Erza. "We cannot let Alzac stay here. If they tried to kill him once, they will certainly try again."

"That's right", said Gray. "Alzac, you said that you hadn't been in the town before. Does MacEwing know you and Bisca are married?"

"Probably not", said Alzac. "When he captured me, he always asked me who I was working for, but I didn't tell him anything."

"Then hide at her parent's farm. I'm sure Asca would be very happy, and you can help defend them if MacEwing comes back."

They all nodded. "That does sound like a good idea", said Erza. "But we can't just take you there. If the town folk know you're there, then MacEwing will find out, too, and they will certainly get suspicious if they see us riding off."

"I've got it!" shouted Happy. "We just have to make it look like… a prison break!"

* * *

Half an hour later, the first citizens were on the roads and began to notice the burned down Sheriff's Mansion. Suddenly, the morning silence was broken by shots being fired. A man ran away from the building, pursued by the Sheriff and her Deputies. Quickly, a consensus formed that it was the man that Mister MacEwing had caught earlier. The only exception was Mrs Loew, who insisted the fugitive could be none other than Stanley Rothals, even though he hadn't been seen in the area for close to ten years now.

The man fired several warning shots at nobody in particular, but the brave law officers did not slow down. The deputies shot fire and ice at him, but he managed to evade them. Suddenly, he was gone, and the Sheriff looked around in confusion. But after a few moments, the mayor spotted the cowardly fugitive, hiding behind a stack of crates in front of the general store, and shouted it out.

Miss Scarlett turned around and went to confront him head-on. It was brave, but also a bit stupid. He shot her right in the chest. From the audible clang, her armor seemed to have taken most of it, but she still fell over. Then he let some bullets fly at the deputies, too, but they weren't hit.

Of course, the deputies wanted to pursue him, but they had to take care of their boss, too. Before they could get to him, he was on a horse that he had probably hidden there before. At least nobody knew whose horse it had been. Within a few minutes, the criminal was out of sight, riding in the direction of the old mine.

The rumors started to spread almost immediately, and were not significantly slowed down by the Sheriff giving the official version. It took all morning until everyone agreed that the fugitive had set the office on fire, by means yet unknown. Mrs Loew insisted that it was due to the evils of alcohol and gambling, although she was not able to explain this further. The reverend insisted that the devil had his hand in there somewhere. Either way, as the building burned, the Sheriff had to open the door and lead the prisoner out of the building. After all, this was a good town, and you didn't just let people in the care of the state burn. That would be ungodly.

But when he was outside, he was able to break the handcuffs. The mayor was quite embarrassed at that, as it turned out that the sheriff's equipment had not been replaced during the last seven years. The rest had happened in plain view of the entire town. Now everyone was waiting for what Miss Scarlett would do to catch him again.

* * *

Gray really liked the town. Sure, it was way too hot, and he was longing for going somewhere with a more reasonable temperature… like Mount Hakobe. Still, the people were all very nice and friendly once they had gotten warmed up to the Fairy Tail team. If anything, the breakout increased everybody's respect.

"None of our previous sheriffs would have bothered!" said the tiny old man he was currently interviewing. "If the going got tough, they'd all just hide in their office. Let me tell you, Sheriff Williams actually released a scumbag when his scumbag friends to pick him up, the old scumbag! Of course, it didn't help him in the long run…"

"Thank you for your statement, Mister Cobbet" said Gray, a bit uneasy. They had five questions they wanted to ask everyone, ostensibly as witness statements, but really to find out more about MacEwing and his plans. This little man had been talking for more than half an hour now.

"Not a problem, I'm happy to do my duty!" said the man. Gray wanted to leave, but the old man just continued talking. "And before I forget, …"

Gray looked to his friends for help. Happy was trying to interview the town's cats and was getting nowhere. If normal cats had any language, then Happy had obviously never learned it. It was kind of admirable how the blue furball did not let that stop him, but on the other hand, it was also more than a bit pointless.

Lucy was talking to a small girl and apparently showing her how to copy Lucy's signature hair style. Meanwhile, Natsu had somehow managed to set his clipboard on fire, to the horror of the man he was talking to. He had to find some other way to break free…

Just then, Erza came and pulled him away, shouting hastily "Deputy Fullbuster, I need you!"

"Thanks!", murmured Gray. "This old man was really annoying. He kept repeating hte same rumors over and over."

"I figured. And you cannot even hit them. How are you supposed to get anything done when you can't hit people?" said Erza. He looked at her closely. She appeared exhausted.

"Everything alright with you?"

"Yes, yes, it's just…"

"The lying is getting to you?" Erza looked at him in surprise, but then smiled. "I guess I never was very good at that," she said. "Except for the theater piece, of course."

"Eh…" Gray had no interest whatsoever to discuss Erza's theater performance while she was around to hear, so he decided to skip that part. "I don't like it either. But we are doing it to help the people here."

"I know. But the way we do it…" She took a breath. "Anyway, who are we still missing?"

Gray looked down at the stack of papers on his clipboard. The uppermost sheet contained almost only scribbles now.

"Is that Juvia?" asked Erza, pointing to one figure. Gray felt himself blush. He did not recall drawing it, but the similarity was obvious. Except that this drawing was wearing less clothes… Better change subject. "Uhm… we have about half of the town. You'd have to ask Happy about his progress with the cats. And there's Natsu!"

"Oh, hello, Erza…" said the dragon slayer carefully. He clearly had hoped to catch Gray alone. Or at least not the knight. "I need more paper" he said sheepishly. "There was an accident…"

"Of course," said Erza, apparently unaware or unwilling to think about the nature of the accident. She handed him a new set of sheets. "Did you learn anything interesting so far?"

Natsu looked through his old, burnt papers, going "Nah… Nah… Nah…" until he suddenly started to smile. "Oh yeah, this guy says he thinks that Mac…Ewing is working for… no, wait, it's the other way around. Gallimer is working for Mac…something"

"You can read that?" asked Gray incredulously. The page was burnt to a crisp. It made sense that the fire head had over time learned how to read this better. After all, Gray was among the best people to deal with frozen water pipes. Still…

"Okay, this guy says that Lucy looks hot. But I don't see her sweat. What's up with that?"

Gray's hand hit his own forehead. Clueless was not enough to describe Natsu. And even if it had been, he probably would not understand such a long word. Wait, Natsu, long word, that reminded him of Natsu.

"Ey, firebreain, I just remembered something. When you were sleeping, you muttered something about a girl with kaleidoscope eyes. What…"

The dragon slayer started to blush. "Nobody! Noone! I didn't say that, and I didn't mean it! Stop it! None of your business!"

Erza was chuckling. Apparently she knew where Natsu knew that word from. Or was there someone he meant with it? He had to look that up later, but right now, Natsu did not seem as if he was in a mood to elaborate.

"The next one on my list is… Mr Oakhorn." said Gray. "He is going to be in the saloon, and I could really use a drink. Let's interview him together."

* * *

"Everything alright, Miss Scarlett? That shot sounded nasty, but this armor sure looks plenty safe. Could have used helmets like that in the mine, I say. Speaking of, what about the raid on the mine?"

Old man Oakhorn seemed to really have missed them all. He was again sitting in his old spot in the saloon. Or possibly still; Lucy was not sure she had ever seen him anywhere else.

"I'm alright. But the raid did not go too well" replied Erza. "I cannot go into details, of course, as this is an ongoing investigation. Right now, we need help from an upstanding citizen like you…"

"I can be plenty upstanding for you, miss, if you know what I mean!" Oakhorn said enthusiastically. He should have known that this was a mistake. Either way, he clearly realized it now, as Erza kept hitting him over the head.

"You want to play it dirty, you scumbag?" she screamed.

"Erza, I think you're overdoing it." said Lucy meekly. "But I have to admit, I see your point…"

"As this is your first offense, I will not punish you", said Erza. Happy was looking disappointed, but Oakhorn clearly realized that if this wasn't punishment, he did not want to find out what was.

"I'm sorry, m'lady, just a little joke. It ain't gonna happen again. Now, what is it you was lookin' for? I'll do anything to help the law!"

"That is an admirable attitude. Now, we need to know about all other exits and entrances to the mine. In particular ones that not everybody knows about."

Over the next half hour, Oakhorn gave them a detailed description of the passages that led outside. As it turned out, it wasn't a big help. The ore and hence the mine were well inside the mountain. There were several access shafts and one that was used to pump ground water out of the mine, but all of them were well known.

Oakhorn did not know about the connection between Gallimer and MacEwing, of course, but even without that, he estimated their chances as slim. It took only one miner in the band of outlaws, and most of the old miners had not been seen in town since the mine closed.

So how else could they get into the mine without being noticed? Suddenly, it hit Lucy so hard that she almost fell of her chair.

"I've got an idea. Are there tunnels sort of near the surface?"

The old man looked at her in surprise. "Sure, but they are all at least ten meters below the surface. If you use dynamite, and you don' wanna bring down the whole mine, then you have to make two… better three explosions. The men holed up in there will know you're coming right away."

Lucy smiled. "Just leave that part to us. I've got an idea…"

* * *

Happy was named for his usual emotional state, but right now, he wasn't. It was not because the plan was a bad idea. As Erza had predicted, the guys who created the spectral riders did not have enough power to keep two herds going, so all it took was to distract them with something harmless. Then the team was clear to go. It was not because he was frightened, either. The illusions were made to look good from the ground, at night. In sunlight, from above, they were really funny. No, the real problem was his outfit.

"I do not like being a vulture!" he shouted as he rejoined the team. "I am a cat! It is a huge insult that I have to pretend to be a bird!"

"But we needed something fast that appears here all the time, so that they don't get suspicious. That's why we needed a vulture." said Gray. "And none of us can really pretend to be a vulture."

"It is still so mean! Lucy, Gray is being mean to me!"

"Why me? Why don't you ask Natsu? I have the most important part in this mission!" said his friend, again overestimating her status. But as the strongest cat in Fairy Tail, Happy thought he could let it slide.

"Natsu is mean. It was his idea!"

"It was?" said the fire mage uncertainly.

"Yes, it was," said all others in return.

"Huh. Happy, look at it this way: You were not pretending to be a vulture. You were pretending to be a dragon that was pretending to be a vulture!"

Happy tried to wrap his head around that. A dragon was mighty and impressive, almost the same as a cat. But dragons were a kind of bird… or something. They had bones and they could fly without magic, right? So it was okay for a dragon to dress up as a vulture.

"I like it!" he said. Lucy murmured something about "that easily?", but Happy just ignored her.

"Lucy, now is your time," said Erza. "Do your best!"

"I will!" said the stellar mage. "Open, gate of the maiden! Virgo!"

The stellar spirit appeared, together with a weird, sparkling, device.

"Virgo, is that… a vacuum cleaner?" said Lucy. "Why do you have something like that?"

"I was cleaning your room when you called me, princess. All part of the service."

"What? I never told you to do that!"

"It was supposed to be a surprise. I am sorry if I offended you, princess. Do I get punished now?"

"No! There is no punishment! I just want you to dig a hole!"

The maid looked a bit sad at that, but she still dug the hole faster than Natsu could dig through a huge pile of food. She disappeared into the ground, and after a few seconds, called "I'm there, princess!"

Lucy dismissed her, and one by one, they climbed into the new tunnel that led to the mine.

* * *

Natsu led the way, keeping a close lookout for dynamite. Eating all the tiny sparks travelling along a line was too difficult even for him, but if he knew in advance that an explosion was coming, he might able to stop it. As it turned out, the caution was unnecessary. The gang had never expected anyone to come in from this direction.

This time, he wanted to do everything right, so he was as quiet and inconspicious as he could. Sadly, Lucy had vetoed his plan to wrap his scarf around his face and say "Nin, Nin!" every now and then.

They quickly defeated the first four guards they met, moving deeper into the mine. As they walked, they noticed a make-shift bar, sleeping places and even a tiny forge. The fifth guard was able to cry out to his friends, and someone else replied, but by this point it did not matter anymore. Dynamite wasn't free, and nobody would bother booby trapping areas that they thought enemies could never reach.

The room they ended up in was a large cavern, full of slightly broken equipment. It was filled with about fifteen outlaws. Behind them stood Gallimer, shouting orders.

"Men, they have surprised us, but we are the finest bunch of outlaws anywhere west of Maschen, and we outnumber them. You can take these weak city boys and girls. Show them what a true western fighter is made of!"

Natsu smiled. This was going to be fun.

* * *

It wasn't. It took less than a minute before all of the outlaws were burnt, frozen, sand dusted or hit by swords (how did Erza manage to defeat people with swords, without ever actually slicing anyone open?). It was really, really boring.

Before them, only Hank Gallimer remained. To his credit, he was not giving up yet. From his pocket, he got a tiny stick of dynamite and a lighter.

"Stop where you are!" he shouted, though he did not seem very sure of himself.

"No, seriously, I will! This bar is tiny, so the blast won't hurt me or kill anyone, but it'll knock ya right out, and then I can do with you what I please. This is your last chance!"

Slowly, he held the bar up, and made a show of lighting the fuse.

Natsu punched Gallimer right in the face. He turned around to see all the other Fairy Tail members looking in horror at him.

"What? I got bored."

"Natsu, the dynamite!" said Erza. She was right. Gallimer had dropped it, but the fuse was slowly burning. Natsu could get away in time, his friends, too, but the outlaws around him probably could not. And he was not sure he trusted Gallimer's maths. There was only one thing to do. He shoved the bar into his mouth.

"You… you can eat dynamite?" said Happy, more impressed than ever. "But won't the explosion hurt you?"

Natsu started to cough. And cough some more. Finally, he spat out the dynamite bar.

"That tastes horrible! And the fire on that rope is so tiny, it's annoying! I'm not fired up at all!"

For safety and because it was icky, Gray enclosed the dynamite stick in ice. Gallimer looked on in awe.

"That was… Never mind! You have to stop right here! Let me guess, you came for that girl we captured again? Well, you'll never find me without her. If you imprison me, I'll never say where you have to look. So…"

"Shut up!" said Lucy. "We already know where she is." She seemed to glance around in a particular direction, but Natsu could not see anything there. There was a familiar scent in the air, though…

"You know where she is? Why didn't you tell us?" asked Gray.

"Well…" Lucy stammered. "Technically, I only realized it just now. You see… his name is spelled with eight letters. And… that got me to thinking: What else in a mine has eight letters? So…"

She was cut off by a loud bang. Hank Gallimer fell over, unconscious. Everyone looked around in fright, until they saw a green-haired woman appear.

"Hello, guys!", shouted Bisca as she was striding towards them, holding her rifle. "Sorry I'm late, it seems like you missed a guy. I tried to catch him, but he used some kind of teleportation magic to get away. Sorry."

"I'll be outraged about that in a minute," said Erza. "First of all: You're free, and you're okay? I…"

She proceded to hug the sniper. "I'm so sorry that we could not be more help!"

Bisca started to laugh. "Don't worry! I was able to break the lock, but I never would have made it out alive without the ruckus you caused."

"It makes sense," declared Happy in his typical "I know everything!" voice. "A sniper is good over long distances, but not so good when the bad guys are right in front of her."

Bisca extracted herself from Erza with considerable difficulty and nodded towards the cat.

"That's why I decided to work with Alzac. Well, at least at first…" She grinned. "By the way, Lucy, what is the thing with eight letters?"

"I have no idea," said the stellar mage. "I saw you back there. You seemed to have a plan, so I tried to distract him from that."

"We can discuss the details of the mission later," said Gray. "Right now, we got to get you back home to Alzac and Asca. And then we're going to take down MacEwing!"

* * *

The mission had gone surprisingly fast, thought Erza, as they were heading back into town. Even with the detour to pick up Asca and Alzac, it was only noon when they reached Copperton again. But something, somehow, seemed off.

It made sense that not a lot of people were out in the high sun, but now the town was positively deserted. As they were riding down mainstreet, they saw a group of figures up ahead, standing in the road and looking towards them. Waiting.

They dismounted, and Alzac went to hide the child inside the bank. Slowly, the Fairy Tail mages walked towards the group. Their leader was MacEwing himself, with five outlaws that looked a lot stronger and meaner than those in the mine. All of them had revolvers and rifles, and they looked bored.

"Sheriff Scarlett!" shouted MacEwing as they came closer. "You made quite a ruckus in my mine. I can't have that. So normally, I'd say ‚get the hell out of my town', but something tells me you ain't the kind of gal to follow an order like that. You guild mages like to play the heroes, don't you?"

"I am the sheriff of this town!" said Erza sternly. "And I will see that justice is done. I place you under the arrest for the abduction of Bisca Connell, attempted murder of my deputies, me and Alzac Connell, and for being an accomplice in all of Hank Gallimer's crimes!"

"My, that's quite a mouthful." said MacEwing, unimpressed. "I take objection to the last one. Gallimer wasn't too good at following orders, always too squeamish. He really didn't like to shoot people down who were in the way."

He cocked his gun.

"I will not do the same mistake."

"We are Fairy Tail mages!" shouted Natsu. "Your guns don't frighten us!"

"Actually, they kind of do…" whimmered Lucy, too quiet for anyone to hear.

"Yeah, that's what I expected," said MacEwing. "And you know what, normally, I'd be scared now. I lost quite a few good men to guild mages. But not today. You wanna know why?"

Slowly, the old man pulled something out from his pocket. It looked like an old, empty whiskey bottle.

"Because I've got this."

"Whiskey Jack's Bottle!" whispered Lucy. "It gives him control over whiskey, grain, water…"

"You did your homework, young miss!" said MacEwing, amused. "Now that the explanation is over, you know how this goes. Now it is time for the showdown! Who is going to start?"

The two groups looked at each other as a tumbleweed rolled by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear heavens. I've made Happy dress up as a vulture. If that isn't sleep deprivation, then I don't know what is.
> 
> So one thing I learned: If you have only one reader (or at least only one person who leaves reviews), then it isn't a good idea to tell her the entire plot in advance. It's a big motivation drain if you can't surprise people.
> 
> Natsu almost never screws up. Sure, there are times when he is not strong enough initially, and he is always the last to understand an arc's plot, if at all. But situations where everything goes to hell because Natsu was acting too stupid almost do not exist. So one of the goals for this chapter was to make Natsu fail. And then, of course, use it as motivation for him, because this isn't an angst story.
> 
> If you read this story, I'd be really, really happy about a review! Good, bad, constructive, flame, I don't care, I just want to know what you think.


	5. Wild West Show

Another tumbleweed rolled by.

The two groups stood on the street, staring at each other, just waiting for the other ones to blink. An eternity seemed to pass.

Suddenly, MacEwing drew his revolver and started to fire. At the same moment, Erza started to charge. There was a clang as the bullet hit metal, shortly followed by it hitting the ground. If she had slowed down, one might have seen a tiny dent on her sword. She did not have time to care, though, as MacEwing continued shooting at her.

Gray began to shout "Ice Make Wall!". Only seconds later, the first bullets started pounding the mass of frozen water as MacEwing's men opened fire. He did a short headcount. Lucy, Natsu and Alzac were behind the wall with him. Where was Bisca? Oh, and Happy? He turned around as he heard a loud shot fired from behind him.

"Thank you, Happy!" shouted Bisca. She had never before experimented with shooting while carried by a flying cat, but it was really a great strategy. Within seconds, two of MacEwing's men were down, having never even seen her. Still, right in the air, she was an exposed target, and it wouldn't take long for the others to notice a sniper hanging in the sky. She was barely out of their reach, but she did not want to leave this to chance.

"Just put me down here," she said, pointing at the Saloon's roof. From that location, she had a good view of the entire battlefield.

Lucy shouted "Open the Gate of the Archer! Sagittarius!"

"Moshi-Moshi?" came the reply. "Ah, it seems that there is shooting to be done, Moshi-Moshi?"

"Yes!" shouted Lucy. "Go get them! But don't get shot yourself!"

"There is no need to worry, moshi-moshi" said Sagittarius. "Bullets are clearly inferior to arrows, as can be seen by their smaller size."

"That makes perfect sense!" shouted Natsu.

"I don't think this is how it works…" murmured Lucy. Next to her, Alzac looked as if he wanted to have a lengthy discussion about this, so she tried to change the subject by addressing Sagittarius again.

"Just shoot them before they shoot us. But don't kill them. Hit them, I don't know, in the legs or something."

"As you wish, moshi-moshi." The horse-man fired two arrows at once. One of the men began to shout.

"My knee! You hit me in the knee! You've destroyed my entire career!"

Meanwhile, Natsu was all fired up. Yes, there were bullets flying around, but a fast bullet is really just another hot piece of metal, and if there was one thing he could always count on, it was that he could deal with hot things. He sprinted over the battlefield and knocked out two of MacEwing's henchmen with a single punch.

Alzac did not want to be outdone and started shooting as well. As the bullets came pouring in towards him, he shot each one out of the air. At the sight, several of the henchmen started to flee.

MacEwing had always thought that nobody could stop him and his men, but reality seemed to have a different opinion. Out of options, he decided to go for his secret weapon. Carefully, he held Whisky Jack's Bottle up and removed the cap. An ominous thundering sound set in. At first, a few drops appeared, then a corn here and there, until finally a storm of water and grain poured over his enemies and clouded everyone's vision. For a moment, MacEwing thought he had the upper hand, until suddenly an ice lance flew right past his ear. The sheriff and her posse had not even slowed down.

In panic, he looked around. How many men did he still have? Surely, he could always count on Harris… where was he? Where was Dan? Slowly, his brain began to process the information. All his men had either left him or were knocked out. His enemies were approaching ever closer; only the fog had kept him safe so far. There was only one thing left to do.

He ran away and hid behind a barrel while screaming like a little girl.

* * *

And another sword had been reduced to scrap metal, Erza thought. It had stopped all the bullets properly and even sliced through some of them, but now, just a few more dents and beatings and it would be a ploughshare. What did those idiots think? She had plenty of spare swords, but they weren't free, and lately her stock had been diminishing more rapidly than she liked.

MacEwing had retreated to behind a barrel. All his underlings were either gone or unconscious, except for one who still loudly complained about his knee. She requipped another, fairly pristine sword and shouted.

"MacEwing, this is your last chance. Surrender now!"

From the barrel came a slow chuckle. "No, you surrender!", shouted MacEwing, laughing. Erza was annoyed, but something interrupted her train of thought. She felt a tremor. Then another, slightly more intense. All around her, the ground was starting to shake.

"This is not pre-school!" she shouted at him, sounding more confident than she felt. She really hoped that whatever it was, he would not like it either, although she knew that she could not count on being so lucky. "Come out now!"

"Oh, something is coming out alright!" MacEwing sounded drunk. Had he taken a sip from Whisky Jack's bottle? Erza was not an expert about this, but she could well imagine that this might not be the best of ideas.

Suddenly, a small monster appeared from behind the barrel. It had just about Happy's size, but every step shook the houses as if it were a train falling from the sky. It stopped in the middle of the road. A creaking sound filled the air, and suddenly, it began to grow.

* * *

Lucy had never seen something like this before, but she had heard about it. It was featured in various books, mostly as a deterrent example. The monster was not solid; it was a whirling mix of water and grain, and it strongly smelled like alcohol.

"That is Whisky Jack's Alcoholic Monstrosity!" she shouted.

"Quite right, young miss!" screamed MacEwing from behind his barrel. "A monster created by the old trickster himself, and controlled by his bottle!"

To her right, Gray was actually smiling. "This looks like fun! Ice Make Lance!"

The icy arrows flew towards the monster and– passed through without causing any discomfort. The swirling patterns were disturbed for a moment, but otherwise, the monster did not even seem to care.

"Huh?", said Gray. "I've seen something like this bef–" He was cut off when the monster's hand crushed him to the ground.

"Gray, you idiot!" shouted Natsu. "What will Juvia think if she hears you compared her to this monster!"

"Why did Whisky Jack ever create something like this?" asked Erza, slowly retreating. "I thought he was one of the good guys, more or less."

Lucy sighed. "He did it for the Women's Temperance League. They had a contest, where they would pay a million jewels for the best symbol for the dangers of alcohol. He thought a literal alcohol monster might do the trick."

"Did he get the money?" asked a grinning Natsu. "I would have given it to him, because this thing is awesome! I'm all fired up now!"

"What? Of course he didn't get the money! They said it was 'otherworldly nonsense, very abstract and not like real-life people drinking alcohol'"

"Aww…" Natsu looked downtrodden for a second. Meanwhile, Alzac started shooting and running towards the monster. It sprayed a jet of grain in his face that threw him into a wall. Lucy caught a brief glimpse of Bisca's face, full of horror.

"Hey, don't do that!" shouted Natsu. "We've spent so much time getting them back together! Karyuu no Houku!"

A flame erupted from Natsu's mouth and sped towards the monster. But before it could reach it, it was stopped by a massive wall of water that came from one of the monster's hands.

"That's interesting," said the fire dragon slayer, smiling. "I've always wanted to fight against someone with water, but Gray always flips out when I ask him if I can have Juvia."

"I wonder why…" muttered Lucy.

"Happy, come on, we need to fly for this!" shouted Natsu. The blue cat flew over to him, shouting "Ay—" and fell out of the sky as a burst of alcohol hit him. Natsu wasted no time and sprinted to where the cat was falling, catching him safely.

"Happy…" he said quietly.

"Everyone, take cover!" shouted Erza. "We have to regroup!"

* * *

MacEwing was having the time of his life. Oh, sure, the town would never love him as they used to again, but why should he care? He had a booze monster! None would ever dare oppose him now, as soon as he got rid of those mages.

"Regroup isn't enough!" he shouted as he heard the command from the sheriff. "You have to leave and never come back. This is your last chance!"

As expected, they wouldn't listen. One of them started talking about friendship and guilds and such, but if they ignored his speech then he would ignore theirs.

"Alright, you had your time. I'm getting serious now! With the bottle, I can control the composition of the monster. Increase alcohol to 80%!"

At that, the blonde girl started to whisper in a very loud voice. Did she even know how to be silent? "Whiskey with 80%? That's way too much. If Cana knew…"

"You… just… have to give it a different… label…" said the black-haired guy. Wasn't he knocked out already? He must have been pretty strong to survive a punch like that. "…like… hand sanitizer… she'll drink it then…"

All the people around started laughing. For a second, MacEwing wanted to join, but then remembered that those were the enemies. He was about to launch an attack, when suddenly, the pink-haired boy said something. "Wait a second… 80% alcohol? Won't that burn?"

* * *

People often said that Natsu was stupid. He thought that was not fair. It was just that he liked simple things more than complicated ones. A complicated plan could fail and often did. Something didn't go right, or the bad guys did not what you wanted them to because they were not as stupid or as smart as you thought. On the other hand, "Here's something flammable; let's set it on fire" usually worked fine.

He ran out on the street to face the monster. Before he could even finish saying "Karyuu", it already hit him with a stream of alcohol. Just as planned. He simply lit up his hand, and suddenly the entire liquid stream was burning with a blue flame. A moment later, the entire monster was ablaze. Natsu was not entirely sure whether it had eyes, but it somehow looked confused and started to shrink.

Behind him, Lucy called that scorpion guy. Natsu briefly wondered whether he would react to coffee the same way as the tiny one on the first ride. A sand storm began to hit the monster, which started to disintegrate. Bisca began shooting at it with new bullets, which at least distracted it.

"This has gone on too long!", shouted Natsu. "Your monster hurt Happy. I cannot forgive that!" He put all his magical power into his right arm and punched.

Three things happened as a result. First, the monster fell over. Second, it shrunk. Third, pieces of it started to disappear as tiny drops, spread all around the town. Natsu knew that if anyone ever asked him to explain this, he'd be in big trouble, because he had no clue. But after just a few seconds, the monster was gone.

* * *

MacEwing fled into an alley, but Erza was hot on his heels.

"Stop, in the name of the law!" she shouted. This bastard was not going to get away now.

He actually did stop and turned around to face her. "Guess what?" he said. "I had time to reload my guns!"

At close range, his bullets were even more dangerous. She tried to get at him with her sword, but it was all she could to keep from being hit. Slowly, she had to back out. Suddenly, she heard someone shout her name. Alzac was behind her in the alley, clutching his stomach.

"Get back! You're in no shape to fight!" she shouted, as she dove behind a crate for cover.

"You're right, but you're no use either. Don't bring a sword to a gunfight!" He threw her one of his guns. "You know how to use one of these, right?"

"Bisca showed me a little...", said Erza, catching the revolver. As a Requip Mage, it would be unacceptable for her to not even consider an entire weapon category. Still, normally she was perfectly happy to leave firearms to the Connells. But out here in the West, different standards applied.

"Point and shoot, right?" she said, stepping back out into the alley. MacEwing stood there and grinned.

"Ah, someone lent you a gun, too? Should we make this an honorable duel then, like true men do? Ten paces, turn and shoot?"

"I am the sheriff", I'd Exa, and she never believed it more than right now. "I don't fight for honor or glory. I fight for the law and those too weak to fight for themselves. So no, I will not give you an honorable chance. Surrender now or die."

"Ah, I figured you might say something like that", said MacEwing.

For a second, both stood there, motionless. Then, at the same moment, both fired.

* * *

His shot hit her square in the chest. He wanted to shout in triumph, until he noticed that she was still standing. And she had changed her armor. The bullet had bounced off, leaving only a slight dent. When had she done that? Also, his hand felt weird. He looked at it and noticed that it was empty. Also, there was blood coming from it. And then the pain set in.

* * *

"Good shot!" screamed Alzac. "Shooting his hand to make him drop his weapon is classic, but very hard to pull off. It's just... It's amazing!

"Actually", said Erza, blushing, "I was aiming for his head."

* * *

When the Federal Marshalls finally arrived, they were greeted by masses of prisoners that some said had not seen since Wild Roger had arrested an entire wagon train for trespassing. It took them most of the rest of the day to round them all up and bring them to the nearest non-destroyed jail. Neither the Fairy Tail mages nor the town people really cared, though. Their job was done, and now they were celebrating.

In an instant, the entire town had put own its best dress for the occasion. The streets were decorated with flowers and the people were wearing their sunday suits. Most of all, though, everyone was in the saloon, where various of the business owners formed a band that admittedly took a beer or two to sound good, but since the saloon proprietor had made all drinks on the house, that was good enough.

The festivities continued for the entire afternoon. Happy kept telling the story to the children of the town, embellishing it more and more with every iteration. At some point, Lucy had managed to push Natsu into a Square Dance, even though neither had any clue how it went. Even more surprisingly, both seemed to really enjoy it, even though Lucy occasionally screamed "It's dosado, not step-on-toe!". Gray was entertaining people with ice magic while Alzac and Bisca were playing with their daughter. Erza was just relaxing, after people had taken her paperwork away from her by force.

"Is there no way I can convince you to stay?" asked the major, who was still not done thanking all of them. "I'm not sure if we deserve it, but Copperton could really need heroes like you. But good guys like you are always in demand, so I guess you must be traveling on now."

"Yes, there are other places we got to be. I'm sorry." said Erza.

"It's a pity, really. But if you leave here tomorrow, could you still remember us? We'd really like you to visit again..."

They were interrupted when the clerk from the telegraph office arrived with a telegram for her. She read it and gathered the other Fairy Tail members around her.

"It's from the master. There is another job further west, something of an emergency, and because we are the closest, he is asking us to handle it. Except Alzac and Bisca, of course, you are still on vacation. We'd have to leave right now, and ride through the night."

"Oh, no, not the horses again!" shouted Lucy. Natsu shook his head. "A bit of travel sickness is no reason to act like that." That only made her angrier. "You are the worst of all when it comes to this!"

Erza turned to the major. "I'm sorry, sir..." He cut her off. "Don't be. This is where the poor lonesome cowboy rides away, isn't it? Don't worry, now that the problems are gone, it should be easier for us to find and hold on to a normal sheriff."

Ten minutes later, they had saddled up their horses, packed up their belongings and Lucy had verified that the reward had really been sent to the guild via wire transfer. It took another thirty minutes of saying goodbyes, especially to Asca, who really did not want to let go of Happy. The entire town was out on the streets to cheer them on as they made their way to the edge of the town.

They rode off into the sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a story finished! And really finished; I am not going to write about their other job. That other job is just an excuse to get them to ride west, into the sunset, because that's how it's done. Thanks to all three of you for sticking with me to the end! Special thanks go to Septdeneuf, my sister, for beta-reading, general suggestions, leaving reviews and most importantly, introducing me to Fairy Tail in the first place. She's got a lot of stories that are way better than mine (but all only on FF.net), so look her up.


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